Fede. Speranza. Amore.

I’ve been told that it’s naive to believe in destiny…that we make our own fate through the decisions we make…that no great force is at work. I say that’s crap. I say that destiny and fate and “meant to be” are real. They guide our lives and put us in the exact right place, at the exact right time, with the exact right person to learn the exact right thing. 

There are people in my life I know got there because our paths were destined to cross, if only for a short time. My obsession with books and television have had a huge impact on the person that I am, but the people I’ve encountered are the real proof of everything I’ve done in my life up to this point. I hated myself in high school. You never would have guessed that if you had known me then. I was confident, out spoken, solid in my opinions and beliefs, but I was also unnecessarily harsh, overly dramatic and just flat out hurtful at times. I hated the person that I was. Since senior year, I’ve tried to change that. I’ve spent three years reshaping the way I interact with people and the way I view the world. I think I’ve changed, but I often wonder if that’s wishful thinking or if it’s actually true. 

Recently, I’ve gotten back in touch with an old friend I hadn’t spoken to in about three years. We weren’t that close, but we were in band together and we were section leaders together, so we spent a lot of time around each other. Two nights ago she told me she was proud of me. She said that I had grown up and was so much more mature than I used to be. 

Moments like that, situations like these, are what solidify my belief in fate. I was meant to run into her again, to become friends with her again, so I could trust myself when I think I’ve grown up and changed into a better person. Because I have. Once upon a time a break up would have brought me to my knees. A professor telling me I should never be a writer would cause me to crumble. A disagreement with a friend would have made me give up on the friendship. But now? I’m a stronger person than I knew I could be and I never would have believed that if I hadn’t crossed paths with that old friend one more time. 

I have to believe in fate and destiny, I have to believe in something bigger than myself, because if I don’t, then what’s the point? What’s the point of all the heartache people suffer through? What’s the point of learning these lessons and living through these experiences? I have to believe that everything I’m going through now and have been through in the past is leading somewhere…leading me to the moment where I’ll say, “This is what I’ve been waiting for”. That moment doesn’t just exist in the movies. Happily ever after does exist. In different forms for different people it does exist and we’re all destined to find it. 

People tell me I’m idealistic to the point of being unrealistic. Maybe that’s true, but as one my best friends said just the other day, I’ll “hope the fuck out of those ideals” until one day something will happen that proves I’m not hoping in vain.